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“Who’s the brainless meat-puppet now?”
Altogether, not terrible. Very stylish looking, great fakeout with the setting, and extremely good ideas for gore, certain kinds of scenarios and injuries (cheese grater, dead voice on phone) that I’m...
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“I Think It’s Time We Paint Him Red.”
A great (final?) sequel to what will be considered one of the all-time great action movies franchises for the foreseeable future. I wish that I’d known, going into it, how it was going to end. I went...
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“Alright, fuck Carol. I hate her too.”
Unfortunately, this is like 1/4 a good movie. And that’s generous. People who say this movie is “fun” without the caveat that it has a few fun moments are suss. I question their concept of fun and...
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“Just pay them with magic.”
It’s a great movie that seldom, if ever, gets in its own way. Nothing is perfect, however, and since this one’s being universally adored (for the right reasons mostly, which is a miracle) some mild...
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“Fair is fair.”
I remember seeing this movie a lot as a kid. I always liked it, especially the part after Billie Jean goes all punk. To me, it was like she was turning into a superhero. It’s interesting to watch it...
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“Back off Warchild, seriously.”
The apotheosis of dumb action movies in the 80s and 90s. Let’s unpack the word dumb, though. People like to say Point Break is dumb or has a dumb script or whatever. When it came out, reviews talked...
View ArticleNew Blog: Evan Eats the World
Just a head’s up that I launched a secondary blog? A sub-blog? Anyway, whatever ya call it, I launched a blog that is for takes and opinions about shit other than specific media like TV shows or...
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“Bro!”
If you liked the first one… And I did. Eventually. At first, I was real suspicious when the early reviews were calling it a “revolution” and shit. Then, seeing it with overly enthusiastic friends set...
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“You told me not to think!”
You did! You did that! You told me that! People taking that advice literally is how a movie this bad gets nominated for a fucking Oscar. Here’s a review I wrote right after seeing it but haven’t...
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“Are you gonna be noble like your brother or take care of business like me?”
Black Panther was already the most complicated MCU movie by the metrics we use to judge “cinema” as opposed to superhero movies. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love superhero movies. It’s only in a...
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“It’s a dangerous thing to mistake speaking without thought for speaking the...
I was lukewarm on Knives Out. I was that guy. Look, I have been a fan (in a good way) of Johnson’s since Brick. I saw what he was trying to do with The Last Jedi and appreciated it. I think Brothers...
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“Come upstairs.”
Skinamarink is the scariest COVID movie. But Evan, why a COVID movie? It actually surprises me that no other reviews I’ve seen have mentioned this but like… It’s a family. Locked down. Not explicitly...
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“I just don’t like you no more.”
My new favorite Martin McDonagh film. For a lot of it, I was like “this is going to be the stealthiest COVID movie of all of them”. And it remains that. But it’s also this really, really subtle...
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Friday Night Netflix: Oni: Thunder God’s Tale
You, yes you, should watch Oni. Oni is a limited series on Netflix that is about a village of Yokai and their preparations for an impending invasion by the mysterious and sinister oni. Yokai are...
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Friday Night Netflix: Iron Fists and Kung Fu Kicks
Two housekeeping notes:This is a cross-post from Letterbox’d. I know it’s not Friday!Second thing is, this doc leaves Netflix (in Canada) on November 30 so if you’re seeing this, you live in Canada or...
View ArticleSurprise! 2022 Update
I haven’t written a blog entry for this since the early period of COVID, when the world kinda slowed down and it really seemed like we were collectively going to have a moment, maybe a long one, of...
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10 Year Retrospective: 2011
So after the size of the 2010 piece, I really wondered about whether I’d have the fortitude to keep doing these. I think as long as I give myself time to work on them and release them only as I finish,...
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“Truth is truth.”
Enemy Mine is one of my all-time favorite films. In my opinion, it’s Wolfgang Petersen’s best film period. I think I first saw it when I was in high school but I probably saw bits and pieces long...
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“Oh hey, you’re the asshole no one likes.”
Badasses. Note: I am going to be playing with format and organization with this review. Formalizing some elements I usually do informally. Let me know if it works or doesn’t! Spoiler-Free Intro Birds...
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10 Year Retrospective: 2010
Sidebar re: format: So I thought about how to do my retrospective and after that series of articles about the X-Men MCU stuff, I decided I liked the “series” format. I’ve tried it before but never...
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